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LOVE LETTER 15

Hello Lovers!

Outside, the freezing rain is pounding on the window.
January is long gone 
And on its way out,
maybe it dragged out some of the good intentions
you started the year with? 

Maybe you're snoozing from 5am-6h30am
Or not flossing twice a day
And forgetting the lemon water... ?
(nods head)

I know I've definitely lost some of my assiduity.

Part of that is #reallife
I am a big believer in REAL LIFE STUFF.
Part of life is knowing when to give yourself grace,
And when to find resolve to do the work
in the face of Real Life.

To not cave to Resistance

What's Resistance?

It's the power that pulls you away from where you want to go.
It's the opposite of ease and flow.
It's an obstable creator,
that keeps you from the things you FEEL and KNOW are right for you.

Resistance is not an external force...
Like fear and joy
It lives inside you.
And like all emotions, you can either tame it, or be a slave to it.

The choice is yours!

Resistance is the whisper to phone it in.
The dread that it's too cold
that it's too messy
that it won't look the way you want anyways.
That one day off doesn't mean anything, and that you'll make up for it later.

Maybe you should just watch another gardening video?
(nods head... I do love a good gardening VLOG)

Real Life and Resistance can look similar.
Resistance actually LOVES to pop up just when your life starts getting real.

You could even argue that life getting real?
That's Resistance shape shifting to test your resolve.

Before the holidays, an abandoned cat came into our house.
It took my studio hostage. 
Legit hostage.
I couldn't function with this cat in my life.
It took down my creative work FOR A MONTH.
And I convinced myself
that maybe I couldn't paint,
write or do anything. What was the point?

Call me crazy, but I know now, that cat was Resistance,
testing me to see if I was serious about setting boundaries.
It took A FULL MONTH.
So yeah, I'm familiar with Resistance.

Resistance feeds you reasons why you can't. 
It will convince you of your victimhood,
(WHY ME CAT, WHY?)

It can trap you in self-analysis
It plays on a loop that you've dropped the ball
That you will never ever catch up.

Resistance is waiting for you to give up.
It has money riding on that fact.
It's a bit of a jerk, if you hadn't noticed!

Resistance likes to pop in and say:

HEY GIRL... You up for this?
'Who are YOU to (_________________) ?'
'Did you really think you were going to get THAT ?...
'Is this really worth it?'

It makes you believe that the past is gospel,
and that you can never change.
can never grow
can never be anything
you've never been before.

And when you give in to Resistance
(because, naturally we all do.. come in little kitty...)

It gets stronger.
It remembers when you gave up.

It's in these face-down moments that you need to find your integrity.
That you need to be impeccable with your word.
Even when your #reallife is making it hard for you.

Especially when your #reallife is making it hard for you.

It's in those moments,
that you get to start again.

Instead of staying down
(ok, well you stay down for a little bit)
You rise up,
you smooth out your skirt
you find that cat a good loving home,

And you start over.

And each time, it's a little faster,
a little more graceful (if you're lucky).
And then you inevitably fall again.
But you get right back up.

It takes a whole lot of falls for Resistance to know you mean business.

Because when you stand up to Resistance
and do the thing anyways,
you get infused with badass courage.
And ease.
And a little bit of flow.
Maybe even some synchronicity.

You get stronger.

And Resistance?

You can see it a mile away
(unless it's dressed like a starving cat).

And after a few dreary days of
'i can't because'
or 'i really should'...

You're doing it!
(you found a home for the cat and your studio is clean and you magically paint 10 paintings that your absolutely LOVE!).

You barely remember that shitty feeling.
Because that's REAL LIFE.
You fall off, sometimes without even noticing.
And you get back on without memory of the fall.
The trick here it to RE-MEMBER:
Falling off and getting back on IS THE WORK.

you need to know where you are in your work cycle, so that the next fall doesn't surprise you.
So that you can use the knowledge of the cycle to your advantage. 
You can stop fighting against it, because the cycle happens, whether you want it to or not.
That part isn't up to you.

But here's what you CAN do...

You can quiet Resistance
You can recognize it
You can work with it.

Resistance only shows up when you're onto something really good.

That's when you need to double down.

I drank my mason jar of lemon water today, for the first time in a week.

I feel good.


xo

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